We all have a past self that feels either proud or surprised of how our life looks like now. I have one too.
I've made decisions in my life that have put me in uncomfortable situations where I had to find the strength and courage to keep going. Yet with all of that, I've spoke a lot about finding bravery in the midst of unknown and smiling through the ups and downs.
Every time I think about my life back in India, I always end up questioning myself, "Was the before beautiful or is the after better?" Well, to everyone's surprise, there is no fixed answer to this. It was different time back then and it's different time now.
But there's something that I've learnt in the middle - hold on to people, places, things and experiences that make you feel alive, make you feel whole, and make life a little more worth living. Here's what I learnt navigating the middle part of it:
I looked for perfect and it didn't exist: For years, I kept finding that 'perfect' moment to have it all figured out, but I quickly realized that it doesn't exist. We make our own kind of 'perfect'.
Comparing the past with the now and worrying about the future: It's a different phase, and there is NO comparison. I've troubled myself enough thinking what was/is better only to understand that now is all I have.
Understanding that bravery comes with time: I wanted to live it all and have the strength all at once. But most often than not, with every experience, every fall and every moment, we figure out a way to be brave. It takes time.
Looking for the light outside: We all have a light within. On days when I felt like it was too difficult, I wanted someone to comfort me, only to understand that I'm my own hero, and I can love myself when there's no one around.
Well, sounds easy to say, but trust me, it isn't all that easy. It took me 4 years to understand that with time, we eventually find our way through, we figure out what works and what doesn't, and we develop that strength to move forward.
In the middle of before and after, I always find myself, always. What about you?
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